The mission just got more challenging than I expected. We are to push to the summit from camp 1, skipping both camps 2 and 3. We will depart base camp at 9:30am, rest a few hours at camp 1, then depart at 10pm for the summit push. At the end of the day, we have to return to camp 1 at least. To give expectations, Mingma said it takes a strong team 12 and half hours. This was way more than I expected. Our lead guide Herbert comforted me that 12 hours go by fast. Well, it’s not precisely the extent of time, but rather the exceptional length I am worried about now. With that doubt in my mind, I tucked myself in for the night to prep for what is one of the longest continuous days in the mountains for me.
Getting up at 9pm, and setting off at 10pm, we climbed quietly from camp 1. I had never seen any of the climbing features before, so I am literally taking a stab in the dark. One feature at a time, we climbed, “Yellow Tower,” and “Grey Couloir” are merged into the same dark blur. All one could see were the headlamps that were slowly moving in the dark. The route seemed endless, even camp 1 seemed hard to reach when you have no idea what is ahead. It was pitch dark.
After I don’t know really how many hours, we passed camp 2 and finally saw camp 3. At this point, three of my teammates are already retreating due to serious health concerns. Passing by two of my teammates, I started tackling the final face of Ama Dablam. The face is icy and long. I paused and panted every 3-4 steps. Now, I wonder if I was ever adequately acclimatized. Doubts arouse. Should I have been here at all? I had 2 surgeries in the 4 months in proceeding months. Was I actually strong enough? Is the training plan still right? I don’t actually have money to hire coaches, so did I make the right choices when it comes to my training plan? Has my mental strength weakened over time? What about my future goals? Goddamn it, why was I falling asleep??
Another 2 hours passed by, and I was still showing away at the slopes one step at a time. The final slope seemed to be shorter and shorter, and teammates ahead of me suddenly appeared on the horizon. After climbing for more than 13 hours by myself, the sudden visual of others gave me renewed confidence. I moved faster and faster. I told myself that “I wanted this summit; I wanted to get there.” Finally, I was gaining mental and physical momentum.
Another hour and a half passed by, and I saw the three teammates ahead of me. Despite teammates confirming that it is pretty far away, two-three hours more to go seems much more achievable. But by then, I had lost track of time; I had been going for 14 and half hours. At this rate, we will get back to camp 1 too late. Due to the lack of tents and equipment at camps 2 and 3, we had to descend back to at least camp 1. My mental calculations told me, that I could actually ascend no more to get back to camp 1 safely. It was way too late. The lead guide, Herbert, ordered me to turn around 200 meters from the summit.
I was heartbroken, but I knew that eventually, this day might come. If one climbs frequently enough, one will eventually run into a situation where one needs to turn around no matter how close you are to the summit. Live to fight another day, as one said. Easily said than done. It’s hard not to give up on the descent. Ama Dablam is a hard mountain to climb up and down. There is no easy way out other than calling a helicopter. It sounded tempting if not for the price tag.
Just like in life, others can serve as inspiration for you. My German and Austrian teammates, with their indomitable spirit, continued even with debilitating foot injuries and extreme fatigue. Seeing them continuing down the mountain, I was quickly reminded of the spirit of mountaineering of pushing through and holding on. Onwards we moved. Between teammates sliding down the hill and myself swinging into a wall while rappelling, the morale was low upon reaching camp 2. My head was dizzy from hitting the rock wall, really dizzy. And I suddenly realized the flaws of not having camp 2 or camp 3, we don’t have any backup plans except for calling helicopters to do highline rescue. In Himalayan mountaineering, because setting up camps can be a very touchy subject, staying at others’ camp is highly frowned upon, especially when we don’t have sleeping bags or tents with us.
I tried to negotiate but failed. I should have known better. No other solution but to push on for another few hours on our tired legs. Nightfall is coming back. We scrambled in the dark through the many traverses of Ama Dablam. Some of the traverses are all brawl, no skills. One holds on to the rope while smearing against the almost vertical wall, with barely any friction. Moving hands and arms side by side, one can cross the traverse. Occasionally, I needed to refer to hanging onto the rope underneath my armpit to avoid falling, a very anaerobic exercise. Because of the pace of the climbing, the safety carabiners are rarely locked, making falling an even more dangerous exercise. Even if the carabiner holds, one has to contend with potentially doing a full pull-up with limited energy and even more limited oxygen. Simply put, you just don’t want to fall on the traverses.
The return between camp 2 and camp 1 felt like forever, with my dizziness not showing any signs of disappearing. I finally broke out into the question, “how far are we?” “Half an hour,” answered Dawa. I knew he was lying to encourage me. In the Himalayas, half an hour away means you can see the tents really clearly. But I saw no tents anywhere close to us. Regardless, Dawa and Kunga were being patient and tried to stay with me through the dizzying night. We had been walking for 22 hours by now. Way down below us, I could see the purple lights from the main base camp. The climbers there must be partying right now. Dawn, I wish I am down there already.
One thing I always have been able to push myself to do is to keep moving even if I am down or doubting myself. I purposely built a habit in myself that I would move no matter what. Today, I proved to myself that I could keep on moving despite mental and physical difficulties. Thus, I kept moving, stopping 20 seconds here and there to catch my breath, then kept on moving. Finally, I see the tent, finally, the end of a long journey today!
On my watch, I recorded 23 hours and thirty minutes of walking out of the 24 hours. And that was after a 7-hour walk with 3 hours of sleep. If anything, it’s good to know that I can sustainably walk that long. Despite everything, that is a good feeling. I know I made mistakes on this trip. Fooled by the shorter length, I did not take good care of myself. I got very sick but was still reluctant to put on more clothes. Keeping my body warm costs extra energy that I could have spent climbing. I cared too much about what other people said, so I didn’t tell the kitchen that I could not eat a lot of spices until I got seriously sick. I have also learned my speed under sickness is not fast enough, yet.
It’s surprising how an 8-hour sleep can do. I woke up the following day still dizzy but much more energized. I cruised through the descent and headed straight to base camp, having battled my own mind and learned a lot along the way. I will definitely come back for a true summit!
So to answer my own question, was Hypoxico a success? Well, I think it was a success in terms of getting me to the base camp faster. After the base camp, it was all program back to normal. I still needed the rotations and time to get sick and recover. As they say, there are no shortcuts to mountaineering. So will I use it again? It depends on the height of the base camp and the programs themselves. If the base camp is within the same height as the mountains I have recently climbed, I am not sure Hypoxico is needed considering all the logistical problems and the lack of sleep.
Special thanks to the Furtenbach team, Lukas, Sandra, Patricia, and Tendi, for helping me through the logistics and Hypoxico process. The lead sherpa guide Mingma, lead guide Herbert, my climbing sherpa Kunga, Dawa, and the Furtenbach kitchen crew who cooked Chinese noodles for me after I got sick. Also, thanks to my awesome teammates who constantly encouraged and inspired me.
Also shoutout to all the amazing people I have met on my way back!
